Conservatives to Ban Fridays!
Gordon Brown at a press conference today stated that he was authorising a leaflet distribution highlighting the Conservatives’ plans to remove the day ‘Friday’ from the week.
“This is a cynical ploy by the Conservatives,” said Mr Brown. “I have read their manifesto from cover to cover and in the manifesto it said nothing of their plans to maintain Fridays. Not for the elderly, not for anyone. The Conservatives are trying to circumvent the European working time directive by spreading the forty-eight hour limit over fewer days. By having six day weeks and so almost sixty-one weeks in a year The Conservatives are trying to increase the time spent at work by twenty percent. They are trying to force the majority of part-timers to work a greater proportion of the week and are trying to reduce by twenty percent the amount of well earned sick days taken. And let us not forget that Fridays have been one of the best days of the week since Labour came to power, and over the past thirteen years we have always worked hard to maintain Fridays for all. We have ensured that Fridays were also sometimes Christmas and, if re-elected, we would pledge to ensure that everybody could have a birthday on a Friday on average once every seven years, thus benefitting the poorest in society.”
When asked to comment on the story Mr Clegg said the following; “This is just the old politics. Six days, seven days, the British people, of whom I’m really proud, deserve something better than this tired red/blue argument. If people want real change they should vote Liberal Democrat on May 6th.” He was pressed further on the issue and said, “Look, I don’t think we should rush into any decision that could cost hundreds of millions or hundreds of billions of pounds, or quite possibly euros. This discussion should be part of a complete review of time and space and twelve letters have flooded in to support me in this.”
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